Mother's day for many is a day of celebration. A day filled with special presents made by their children. A day filled with laughter, love, and memories. But for many mothers, like myself, it is a bittersweet day. It another reminder of a sweet child that is no longer by our side.
This will be my first mother's day without my daughter, Maddison. The anticipation of this day brings immense emotions. As a grieving mother, I feel joy that I was blessed with my child and I am beyond thankful for the time that I was given with her. However, the pain of missing my daughter, my first born, my happiness is intense.
Today I am two different mothers. I am the mother you see walking with her remaining daughter. I am the mother who continues on with our real world activities likes chores, homework, and errands. But I am also the bereft mother. I am the mother who fakes the smile, hides the tears, and remains numb. I am the mother who imagines her daughter two steps behind our every movement.
Mother's day will always be hard, even with my surviving children. I may be sad on this day, I may not want to socialize, I may need to take a break by myself. Whatever the day brings please just allow me to feel and just be there for support.
I believe there is no right or wrong way to celebrate Mother's Day. But the one thing that I am learning is to cherish your moments. Appreciate all the little things that can be so quickly taken away. I hope despite the situation, you as a mother can find a little joy in your Mother’s Day. I know for me, I will try because my daughters are who made me who I am today and I am blessed because of them.